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Let’s be honest: you’ve been swiping for weeks, maybe months, and you’re not getting the matches you want.
You see other people getting tons of attention, going on dates, and meeting amazing people… while you’re stuck with zero matches or conversations that go nowhere.
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Here’s the truth: It’s not about your looks. It’s about how you present yourself.
Your dating profile is your first impression, your sales pitch, your chance to stand out in a sea of boring profiles that all look the same.
And most people get it completely wrong.
In this guide, I’ll show you exactly how to create a dating profile that gets attention, plus message templates that actually get replies.
Let’s dive in.
Part 1: Your Dating Profile Photos (The #1 Factor)
Why Photos Matter More Than Anything Else
Studies show that 90% of people make their swipe decision based on your first photo alone.
Your bio? Most people don’t even read it until after they’ve already decided they like your photos.
So if your photos aren’t working, nothing else matters.
The 6 Photo Rules That Get More Matches
Rule #1: Your first photo must be a clear face shot
- No sunglasses
- No group photos
- No far-away shots
- Good lighting (natural light is best)
- Smile or friendly expression
Rule #2: Show variety (but stay authentic)
- 1 clear face shot (first photo)
- 1 full-body photo (shows your style)
- 1 activity photo (hobby, travel, sport)
- 1 social photo (with friends, but you’re clearly visible)
- Optional: 1 pet photo (if you have one)
Rule #3: Avoid these photo mistakes
- Bathroom mirror selfies
- Car selfies
- Gym selfies (unless you’re incredibly fit)
- Photos with your ex (cropped or not)
- Group photos where you can’t tell who you are
Rule #4: Quality over quantity
- Use 4-6 photos maximum
- Make sure they’re high resolution
- No blurry or pixelated images
Rule #5: Show your personality
- Doing something you love
- Traveling or exploring
- With friends (shows you’re social)
- Genuine smile and energy
Rule #6: Update your photos regularly
- Use recent photos (within the last year)
- Seasonal variety shows you’re active
- Fresh photos = fresh matches
Part 2: Writing a Bio That Actually Works
The Biggest Bio Mistakes (That Kill Your Matches)
Most dating bios are boring, generic, and forgettable.
Here’s what NOT to do:
- “I love to laugh and have fun” (everyone does)
- “Just ask me” (lazy and uninteresting)
- Listing requirements (“Must be 6ft+, no drama”)
- Negativity (“Swipe left if you’re boring”)
- Clichés (“Looking for my partner in crime”)
The 3-Part Bio Formula That Gets Attention
Part 1: Hook (1 sentence)
Start with something interesting, funny, or unique about you.
Examples:
- “I make the best homemade pasta you’ve ever tasted”
- “Currently on a mission to visit every national park”
- “I can beat you at Mario Kart (and I’m not sorry about it)”
Part 2: Personality (2-3 sentences)
Show who you are through specific details, not generic statements.
Examples:
- “Weekend mornings = coffee, farmers market, and trying new brunch spots. I’m a morning person who actually enjoys Monday mornings (I know, weird).”
- “I’m a software engineer by day, amateur chef by night. My friends say I’m the ‘dad joke king’ but I prefer ‘comedy genius.'”
Part 3: Call-to-action (1 sentence)
Give them an easy conversation starter.
Examples:
- “Tell me your best travel story”
- “What’s your go-to comfort food?”
- “Recommend me a show to binge this weekend”
Real Bio Examples That Work
Example 1 (Male, 28):
“I make a mean breakfast burrito and I’m not afraid to prove it
Marketing guy who loves hiking, live music, and finding the best tacos in town. My friends describe me as ‘the guy who’s always planning the next adventure.’
What’s the best concert you’ve ever been to?”
Example 2 (Female, 26):
“Part-time bookworm, full-time coffee addict
I teach elementary school and spend my weekends exploring new hiking trails or trying new recipes (with mixed results). I laugh at my own jokes and I’m okay with that.
What’s the last book that kept you up all night?”
Part 3: First Messages That Actually Get Replies
Why “Hey” Doesn’t Work
Sending “Hey” or “What’s up?” is the fastest way to get ignored.
Why? Because it’s boring, low-effort, and gives them nothing to respond to.
You need to stand out from the 20 other “Hey” messages they got today.
The 4 Types of Messages That Get Replies
Type 1: The Specific Compliment
Don’t just say “You’re beautiful.” Everyone says that.
Instead, compliment something specific from their profile.
Examples:
- “Your travel photos are amazing! Which trip was your favorite?”
- “I saw you’re into photography – do you shoot film or digital?”
- “That hiking photo looks incredible. Where was that taken?”
Type 2: The Playful Challenge
Light teasing or playful banter (done right) creates instant chemistry.
Examples:
- “I see you claim to make the ‘best’ chocolate chip cookies. Bold statement. What makes them so special?”
- “You said you’re a morning person… I’m going to need proof of that”
Type 3: The Shared Interest
Find something you have in common and start there.
Examples:
- “No way, you’re into rock climbing too! What gym do you go to?”
- “I saw The Office in your bio – team Jim or team Dwight?”
- “Fellow coffee addict here. What’s your go-to order?”
Type 4: The Creative Question
Ask something fun and unexpected that makes them think.
Examples:
- “Quick question: tacos or pizza for the rest of your life?”
- “If you could have dinner with anyone (dead or alive), who would it be?”
- “What’s something you’re weirdly competitive about?”
5 Message Templates You Can Use Right Now
Template 1:
“Hey [Name]! I saw you’re into [hobby/interest]. I’ve been wanting to get into that – any tips for a beginner?”
Template 2:
“Okay, I have to know – what’s the story behind [specific photo/detail from profile]?”
Template 3:
“Your bio made me laugh. [Reference something specific]. So, [ask related question]?”
Template 4:
“I’m trying to settle a debate with my friends: [fun either/or question]. What’s your take?”
Template 5:
“Hey! I noticed we both love [shared interest]. Have you [related question about that interest]?”
Part 4: Keeping the Conversation Going
The Biggest Conversation Mistakes
- One-word answers
- Interrogating them with too many questions
- Talking only about yourself
- Waiting too long to suggest meeting up
- Being too sexual too soon
The 3 Rules of Great Conversations
Rule 1: Balance questions with statements
Don’t just ask questions. Share things about yourself too.
Bad:
“What do you do for work?”
“Where are you from?”
“What do you like to do for fun?”
Good:
“What do you do for work? I’m in marketing and honestly, I love it – every day is different.”
Rule 2: Use open-ended questions
Avoid yes/no questions. Ask questions that require a real answer.
Bad: “Do you like traveling?”
Good: “What’s the best trip you’ve ever taken?”
Rule 3: Know when to move off the app
Don’t text forever. After 5-10 messages, suggest meeting up or moving to phone/video chat.
Example:
“I’m really enjoying talking to you! Would you want to grab coffee this weekend?”
Part 5: Common Dating Profile Mistakes to Avoid
Mistake #1: Being Too Generic
“I love to travel, try new foods, and spend time with friends.”
So does everyone. Be specific.
Mistake #2: Negativity
“No drama, no games, no time-wasters.”
This makes you sound bitter and difficult.
Mistake #3: Lying or Exaggerating
Don’t lie about your height, age, or use old photos.
You’ll get caught, and it ruins trust immediately.
Mistake #4: Too Much Information
Your bio isn’t your life story. Keep it short, interesting, and leave them wanting to know more.
Mistake #5: Not Updating Your Profile
If you’re not getting matches, change something.
Test different photos, rewrite your bio, try new approaches.
Bonus Tips: Advanced Strategies
Tip #1: Use the “Peak Hours” Strategy
Most people swipe between:
- 7-9 PM on weeknights
- Sunday afternoons
Update your profile or boost during these times for maximum visibility.
Tip #2: The “Reset” Trick
If you’ve been on an app for months with no luck, delete and recreate your profile.
New profiles get a temporary boost in visibility.
Tip #3: Be Active
Apps reward active users with more visibility.
Swipe daily, respond to messages quickly, and stay engaged.
Tip #4: Don’t Take It Personally
Dating apps are a numbers game.
Not everyone will match with you, and that’s okay.
Keep improving your profile and stay positive.
Final Thoughts: You’ve Got This
Look, dating apps can be frustrating.
But with the right profile, photos, and messages, you can absolutely stand out and get more matches.
The key is to be authentic, interesting, and intentional about how you present yourself.
Use the tips in this guide, test different approaches, and don’t give up.
Your next great match could be just one swipe away.
Good luck out there!
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